Buy Tea Emergency Kit
One hot cup. Fixes everything. Mostly
₹9,999
British nonsense: tea emergencies, weather chat and apologising to furniture
Tea emergencies, weather complaints and apologising to furniture.
Browse British Nonsense products
Buy Weather Complaint Pack
"Lovely day, isn't it?" in 40 flavours
₹19,999
Buy Queue Respect Certificate
A shiny paper that says you wait nicely
₹9,999
Buy "Sorry" Reflex Pack
Apologise to doors, chairs and people
₹19,999
Buy British Summer (2 Hours)
Sun for two hours. Bring a jumper
₹9,999
Buy Posh Accent (1 Day Trial)
Sound like you own a very old library
₹19,999
Buy Football Arguments Pack
Ninety minutes of "he was never offside"
₹9,999
Buy a Full English Breakfast
Beans, toast and a nap
₹19,999
Buy Train Delay Entertainment
Learn a new hobby while waiting on platform 3
₹9,999
Buy Perfect Biscuit Dunk
Dunk for 3 seconds. Not 4. Never 5
₹19,999
Buy Umbrella That Only Works Indoors
Perfect for the sunniest day of the year
₹13,999
Buy Pub Quiz Overconfidence
"I know this one!" Wrong. Every time
₹12,999
About this category
Tea emergencies, the 3-second biscuit dunk, an umbrella that only works indoors and a very polite "sorry" to a lamp post. These fake products tease British quirks with a smile and a biscuit.
Frequently asked questions
Are these British products real?
No. They are made-up jokes. Not even the biscuits are real, sadly.
What is the best British gift idea?
Buy Tea Emergency Kit and Buy Perfect Biscuit Dunk are firm favourites.
Is this site only for British people?
Not at all. Anyone who has waited for a train, queued or said "sorry" to a door is welcome.